My Little World

Thursday we saw Dixie Stampede and I am now a fan of Dolly Parton.  I love how she uses her $$, her popularity, talents and creativity to create a show that is so patriotic and kind of dissolves the lines that separate us as a people in America.  And after the Dixie Stampede we went to Silver Dollar City until it closed at 10:00.  That's a really nice, fun park.  We ate dinner at a buffet restaurant in a cave.  I can't remember the name of it.  Friday we rented a speed-boat again and pulled the innertube and ate lunch out on the lake from 11 to 3.  Silver Dollar tickets were good to get us in after 5 on Friday so we went back there again for a couple hours.  And at night we went to Pasta House Co. for dinner.  Pasta House Co. totally beats IHOP.  Amanda was our servers name and she could've been Betsy's twin with bleach-blond hair and about 50 extra pounds on her.  Sunday nights kids eat free at the Pasta House Co.  and kids is anyone 12 and younger.  But I really don't think we'll be able to squeeze a family trip to Branson between now and the end of October :(  too bad.  Saturday we left around 12:30 for home and we ate at the Belgian Pancake and Waffle House, which was great.  Kyle's friend Frodriguez joined us early on the ride home, too.  Frodriguez is invisible.

Grandpa was again up before anyone and he took the kids to the hatchery, which according to Kyle "was just a bunch of fish ... in ... big puddles".  Then they went fishing but didn't catch anything :-(  And then they came back and picked up me and my mom with the intention of going to get something to eat but we ended up at Silver Dollar City.  They had many restaurants with good food so it was all okay.  Silver Dollar City is like Branson's Disneyland ... without the Mickey Mouse and Disney characters of course.  Silver Dollar City compares to Disneyland closer than it compares to Frontier City, I think.  It was really a great park.  We might go back again tomorrow since our tickets are good to get us in after five oclock tomorrow. 

Grandpa got up early and did a bunch of stuff even before anyone else got up.  Then he took Kyle and Anna out to the Marina to go fishing.  They did great, caught five fish right away ... and threw them back, of course.  So who's to say it wasn't just the same idiot fish every time?  Obviously I am not a fisher.  My dad and the kids went to breakfast at the same dysfunctional IHOP and it was not as dysfunctional, I guess.  They learned about a magic show going on at 2:00 at the Clay Cooper theatre that they wanted to go to so I went with them to that.  Taylor Reed grew up in Texas and started doing magic when he was four, moved to Vegas with his magic show and had a show there for awhile ... now does his show here with his friend Ziggy.  I could see great potential in the show and I thought Taylor was a very likeable showman, but if I was a show critic I'd have to give him a C-.  That's all I'm gonna say.  Then we went and got Grandma and went to two factory outlets malls ... got Kyle some cool Nikes and Anna some Crocs and a couple things at the Old Navy store (everything was 40% off except clearance items were 50% off!).  Dinner was kind of a mess.  A lovely fun mess - that's what it's like on vacation sometimes.  We saw a Krispy Kreme donut store with fresh hot donuts but rather than finding dinner first, my dad listened to Kyle and pulled in "just for the free donut".  But upon walking in and smelling the familiar sweet smell I went into Friday morning mode and I "acted stupidly" and bought a dozen donuts, which caused a problem regarding the which particular kind of donuts got selected for that lucky twelve.  So the night was already perfect so we went to Taco Bell and got some dinner.  I love going to Taco Bell when I'm on vacation ... NOT!!  Then we went back to the hotel.  So that was Tuesday in a paragraph.  A highlight of the day was hearing from Ryan and knowing he got back from Cali just fine.  We're going to see Dixie Stampede on Thursday and going out on the boat again for a picnic lunch on the water on Friday.  Wish you were here with us Ryan.  You'd love it!

Saturday we didn't go to the Stake picnic in Stillwater, to Anna's disappointment.  So my mom promised we'd make up for it and do something else fun on Saturday.  Saturday night, Anna and Kyle got to go ice skating with their friends Neal and Amisha.  Things I want to remember about Saturday night is Kyle showing me the figure skating routine that he and Neal came up with and that Anna wants to have her next birthday at Arctic Edge.  And Sunday we embarked on our road trip that we had planned for a few weeks now ... so we were driving most of the day and then we arrived in Branson and we found our hotel - the Chateau on the Lake

... Table Rock Lake, just for the record.  It is beautiful.  See?  It looks just like a castle perched up there on the rock.  The hotel is new, more or less, and Sunday night we drove down the main strip in Branson all the way down to the Landing where there are a multitude of new buildings, stores, restaurants and a nice new big Hilton hotel.  We walked all around there looking for a place to eat but it was too late at night, and we didn't feel like a big heavy steak dinner, so we ended up with no choice but IHOP, who was having a very dysfunctional night so my mom and dad and the kids sat there for an hour and then left, while I slept in the car.  Today was Monday and my dad and I and the kids went to check out the Marina while Grandma slept in.  We took out a paddle boat and a canoe, which is great exercise.  They also had kayaks we could've used for free.  Kyle's legs are sore from pedaling the paddle boat.  We went tubing with a rental speed boat in the evening.   It's sooo much FUN being out on the water again, and the kids really loved it.  We ate at Uptown Cafe for dinner and then drove around and found the outlet malls.  Tomorrow we'll go to a couple stores when they're open.  We are having sooooo much fun.  I don't feel like I can express it adequately cuz I'm sooooo tired.  So I'm going to sleep now.  I hope ur okay, Ryan, I love you!

July 23rd is a long time away from those other two posts.  But I guess I'm doing okay anyways.  Ryan left early this morning and flew to Anaheim.  The kids are really experiencing what summer is all about - Anna starts proclaiming her status early in the day "I'M BORED!"  I really would like the kids to adopt a disposition of being content.  When there's nothing fun or exciting to occupy them I want them to learn to just be happy as their default mood.  Kyle and Anna were getting on each other's nerves really bad ... I think it's just how they interact with each other sometimes, which concerns me cuz it's establishing habits of human communication/interaction that are not very functional or healthy.  But what do I know?  I don't have siblings.  Maybe this kind of dysfunctional communication is totally normal with siblings that are as close as Kyle and Anna.  They play really well together.  By about two in the afternoon Anna was getting mad at every little thing Kyle did.  He couldn't exist without upsetting Anna, so of course he had some fun with it.  That's Kyle.  "When life gives you Skittles, fire them randomly while yelling Taste the Friggin' Rainbow" - Kyle.  I think he actually lives life with this mentality.  He is a hoot!  At 3:15 I was a little surprised to find Anna had fallen asleep on my bed while Kyle was playing games on my laptop.  She was so upset I guess it all just put her to sleep and she had a 45 minute nap.  When she woke up and said she wanted to go out and "do something fun now", I told her to just go back to sleep.  For dinner I cooked some frozen pizzas and we're going to Orange Tree for dessert now. 

If one of the reasons I am "blogging" again is to pull myself out of a sad and depressed state, then my grade in that area for today is pretty good.  I had about three other friends and their kids come over today to play in the pool - it's the healthy start of a wonderful summer Monday tradition.  I am sooooo grateful (with 5 o's!) for my friends.

Every so often I get a gentle reminder that change/adapting doesn't come as naturally to me - like when school ends or begins ... it's like my brain knows a big schedule change is coming and it doesn't matter if it's something good or bad that I look forward to or dread - I subconsciously go through some degree of anxiety beforehand, which sometimes manifests itself as depression.  Which then makes me feel guilty cuz I am the last person on Earth that has any legitimate reason to complain.  My life is an involuntary permanent vacation, very low stress, very low pressure, no rushing to meet deadlines, and I am surrounded by people who love me.  I have everything a person needs or wants in this life, so if I'm sad for no good reason it must be because I am a spoiled brat.  That's how I see it sometimes.  That's how I saw it last week.

But on Sundays everything gets reset and refreshed,  Renewed.  Refilled.  Reminded.  My smile is replaced :-)  It's like the vacation day from other days that helps me to be productive and sane during the week.  And mixing with my friends on Sundays and all during the week prevents me from sliding into that sad and depressed state, too.

Kyle is on his summer break voluntary field trip to Orlando right now.  He left Saturday and will be back Wednesday night.  Maybe my somber mood has been to weigh out his excitement and happiness that I'm sure he's feeling on this trip.  He already called to ask about him maybe buying a Japanese police baton at Epcot center.  Ryan suggested that is might pose a difficulty going through security on the way home ... so we'll see what he comes home with Wednesday.

I am back ... today.  I've been spending alot of time on Facebook apps, and they are fun, but I've missed the therapy of sitting and writing occasional updates here on my vox blog.  Like I would have totally blogged about my pain in the jaw that mysteriously started a couple weeks ago.  I'm not positive but I think maybe I grind my teeth at night while I'm sleeping...  And the drive to Muskogee for the Renaissance fair was definitely a highlight ... And the R.S. lesson-discussion I taught last week - Crash and Burn - that's all I have to say about that.  School has ended and we're in full-on summer mode now.  I'm trying to think of what other updates I have to type here cuz there are many ... but my brain is going nuts with the million topics I've thought "I should blog about this" over the last two months.  Plus the million other thoughts floating around in my head any given time.  They're giving me an ulcer.  Maybe if I come back and write regularly that restless feeling will go away.  And I should probably quit some apps on Facebook.  I am quitting Hatchlings the end of June.  Tomorrow is another day.

We are at Breckenridge, CO. for spring break this year.  We flew in on Monday, ate at Swiss Haven Fondue place that night.  That restaurant is very charming and memorable but we were a little sad to see the prices have shot up considerably.  Oh well.  Tuesday we all went to the rental office and got outfitted for the week and Ryan bought us all the lift tickets for the day, we all climbed the hill to the chairlift - I was so pleased with Anna's ability to not complain because I *know* she wanted to all morning but she did a wonderful job biting her tongue.  But the she got her skis on and freaked out and lost it, so Ryan took her back to the hotel room while Kyle and I got to ski for a couple of hours, which was just enough time to go up the lift once.  But at least I got my one run of skiing in for this trip.  Wednesday Anna and I didn't try skiing :-(, we walked up and down Main Street and went to our favorite little crepe restaurant 'La Francaise French Bakery".  Thursday we all went to the outlet mall an walked around all day.  I do not like traveling places and then just walking around the mall or going to the theatre for a movie.  So apparently I had somewhat of an attitude much of Thursday cuz I did not want to be doing what we were doing.  I made the best of it when I found this terrific $210 purple Columbia winter jacket for $24.  I know ... what a hypocrit.  So that was Thursday - Friday the boys hit the slopes and Anna and I went walking to our beloved little French bakery for another strawberry-chocolate custard crepe.  The weather is just beautiful and I wish Tuesday had been a bit more successful in teaching Anna how to love skiing.  I would have loved to ski all this week.  But I enjoyed walking with Anna and having plenty of time to play Facebook games :-l.  We're flying home tomorrow after we visit Al at 'Crepe Expectations' again on the way to the Denver airport.  This might possibly be our last family trip to Breckenridge during ski season :-(

1- I felt guilty about cheating and just importing my blog in so now I'm gonna write 25 things, cuz I read a couple tagged friends' 25 things and it was very interesting/fun getting to know people this way
2- I have no subconscience ... I am consciously aware of why I do everything I do

3- my favorite color is purple
4- I love monkeys, they look funny
5- my favorite flower is the tulip, but not like a real tulip ... a cute little cartoon tulip with three points on the top.
6-for the first 25 years of my life I wrote with my left hand, then I was in a car accident and now I write with my right hand
7- I am by nature kind of clueless regarding current events, fashion, movies, celebrities and basic knowledge that most everyone else seems to pick up on, I have to very purposefully look up and study such information
8- but I did well academically, I was in the honor society in school
9- until I took Calculus in High School, then I got a D
10- part of the reason I got a D was because I didn't want to have to work so hard to understand the subject. I wanted to write notes to my boyfriend
11- writing notes to that boyfriend paid off cuz now he is my husband and we have made two little people together!
12- being in a family (being a wife and a mom, daughter, aunt ...) is what this existence is all about. My self identity is very much defined by my roles as Ryan's hot wife and Kyle and Anna's awesome mom
13- I don't really think I'm hot, I just say that to be funny. I have a pretty obvious limp so that pretty much wipes out any "hotness" emanating from me
14- I say alot of things to be light-hearted and funny and sometimes I think people think I'm being serious and they just pass me off as slightly retarded
15-I'm totally not retarded, just a little slower at processing sometimes than other people
16- my key to happiness is that I try never to compare myself or judge myself or condemn myself
17- part 2 of that key is that the same applies to everyone else
18- At 35 I'm learning things that many people learned as a kid - social things, self-awareness things ...
19- I knew things as a kid that many people don't figure out until they are 35 - spiritual truths ...
20- I have been to Germany several times - every other year when I was growing up to visit my mom's side of the family. I LOVE Germany
21- I want to lose about 30 pounds and I think I could do it if it wasn't for the food
22- food is irritating, I wish we didn't have to take care of our bodies by feeding them a nice variety of tasty foods every day
23- I'm not very talented in the kitchen, although I am good at keeping the kitchen clean kind of
24- I like doing dishes in the dishwasher and washing clothes in the washing machine and emptying the garbage
25- I like making order out of disorder - it is like my guiding motivation in everything I do, I think

 

On Friday we flew out to California, where we met with Ryan's mom & dad and sister, brother and nephew, who had all flown out from AZ or UT.  Friday night Ryan's other bro and his wife flew out from WA.  It was a family reunion of all descendants of Ryan's grandma and grandpa, because Grandma had her 90th birthday on Sunday.

  And what a truly sweet and wonderful weekend it was!  Saturday night we all met at Grandpa's favorite Mexican restaurant - a huge group of us - and towards the end at one point Grandpa stood

up and spoke to everyone, thanking those who travelled a long ways and thanking us all for being there because at that moment we were complete.  No one was missing - two sons, nine grown grandkids and thirteen great grandkids - direct descendants of Grandma and Grandpa.  I don't know how to express everything I felt/feel - FAMILY is what it's all about - getting married and sticking together through the thick and thin,

sacrificing selfish desires for something bigger, having children, learning and gaining knowledge and awareness of yourself and the world around you ...

 

 this is the reason humans are here, the reason for life.  People will rationalize and scholars will logically explain why I think that (and how I'm the sucker because I believe it), and how to get around it but it is a simple and absolute truth.  It

is the one truth that everyone in the world must hold on to and fight for.  You don't see the benefit or the reward for years and years, but that moment is soooooo sweet, it is a taste of

eternal happiness that everybody does want and is searching for in life, whether they are aware of it or not.

Sunday was Grandma's actual birthday and almost all of those that were at dinner Saturday

night came to church at Grandma and Grandpa's ward.  We took up a big section of those pews.  We must have been the reality of the vision that sustained Grandma on some days, the

hope that keeps us going when it gets challenging.  I know there were days when Grandma thought about giving up, we all have days when we want to give up and call it quits, because people aren't perfect and in a family we get to know those imperfections better than anyone.  Stick it out and don't give up hope.  We're all learning how to be better people every day, nobody is perfect yet ... and that's just the way it is.